65 years of freedom?

India stands at the brink of completing 65 years of freedom... freedom from British rule, freedom from oppression, freedom from torture by the powerful, freedom from exploitation and freedom from political imperialism!

Yet, as I reflect back on the happenings in the last few months, the following thoughts stare at me, in no order of importance (because they, to me, are all equally important!):

Inflation

Things have never costed more before! Cauliflower at Rs. 100 a kg! During the British rule, our farmers had to pay steep taxes and a lot of the produce from cotton to indigo went abroad and came back as manufactured goods and sold to Indians at a premium. In today's day and age, it is our own people in power who are pocketing the income. Farmers continue to remain poorer, and prices of things continue to rise. How different are conditions from 65 years back?

Anna turns political

At a time when Anna seemed to be the modern 'saviour' giving the common man a chance at truth and justice at an unprecedented scale. So did Gandhi 70 and more years back. He brought hope and united the masses. And then he chose the political path, diluting the larger mission for the people. Anna Hazare's decision to join politics seems to mirror the situation for which Gandhi probably paid with his life! How differently helpless do we continue to remain as a democratic nation?

Tug of War

Lawlessness

Lawlessness has reached mammoth proportions, at least in the part of the country I live in. Daylight robbery in a mall, protests in Mumbai against the Assam riots turning violent, daylight gang rapes, absconding criminals, and corrupt ministers, are just some of the news items that reek of a violent society. How different are these instances from the horrors that Indians on both sides of the existing borders experienced during Partition?

Value of children

On a different note, probably this is an area where things are not only different from the pre-independence times, rather definitely worse! Children getting trapped in drain holes and not getting the proper care required to save their lives, babies being sold in the name of poverty and rampant examples of child labour all around us, just show the lack of any value we as a society give to children. 

Don't break our hearts!

Rights of animals

This too, has probably worsened from the times, when animals were naturally domesticated and looked after in pre-independence India. Cattle and other animals were taken care of as members of the family, looked after and well fed. Today, those animals merely have a commercial value. Moreover, wild animals are drastically losing their natural habitats thanks to merciless urbanisation and human encroachment. A recent incident of an acquaintance leaving his apparently 'naughty'  pet dog in the wilderness to teach him a lesson, is a shocking reminder of how as a nation, we have simply forgotten to value and respect life. 

National Sport?

Hockey is our National Sport and yet we performed dismally in the recently concluded Olympics! Apathy from the government towards nurturing sports in the true spirit, and poor infrastructure and training, are the primary reasons for team sports to perform so poorly. Most, if not all medals we have won have been in individual sports, where the grit, practice and determination of an individual which has got the country a medal! In contrast, we are willing to view every match of the IPL, celebrating a economically driven, marketing-enabled, and celebrity-endorsed spectacle, in which the spirit of sports is celebrated less than brands, companies and a communal competitiveness, making the common people go delirious in a biblically-tranced blindness!

All of these are random thoughts that have been disturbing me over the last year, making me question my significance as a citizen of modern India. We seem to be so effortlessly wasting our resources, our youth and our time in life, in a state of being blindfolded by ourselves! What could be worse for the future of a nation? A nation that fought a bloody battle over years to gain its independence, and yet, today fails to value life, respect women and cherish its strengths! A nation of more than a billion people, which when united in a common aspiration of true development of the country in all its spheres, could achieve miracles. And yet, we continue to sleep through life, like zombies, celebrating each Independence Day in retarded applause!

It is time for a re evolution!

Teacher Educator Mentor

I recently attended a beautiful, thought provoking session by our school's management consultants Sandeep and Manisha. Though, we were all sulking as it entailed a working Saturday, the session was surprisingly insightful. We began by falling into the traps of their tricky questions, like fish caught in a net, as they asked us 'How intelligent are we?'. As we went through the various aspects of trying to define how intelligent we are and furthermore, quantify it as a rating, most of us realised the futility of this self evaluation! We needed to have understood that when it comes to teaching, it is not about 'How intelligent our students are', but about 'How are they intelligent'! Having experienced this first jolt, all of us (our Primary school team of 60 teachers) became more alert and involved, totally forgetting that it was a Saturday afternoon!

We enjoyed exploring the ethos of teaching remembering multiple intelligences and multiple pathways to learning, two educational beliefs that also form the backbone of our school's vision and mission! At the same time, it was heartening to see the commitment level of most of our teachers in teaching students of today... and embracing in the same hug, the challenges and the rewards. Here is a summary of some of the insights shared, beliefs reinforced and questions planted:

WHAT IS INTELLIGENCE?

What is it and how can one define it? As we see the greatest people in their respective fields, we realise that they all circumstantially evaded the journey of schooling. So does education actually nurture intelligence or streamline children into competitive race-course tracks? What is the purpose of holistic education... to help each child manifest the Buddhahood within and bloom like a lotus in all its natural beauty and glory... or to wither into a well groomed and manicured flower that can merely adorn hotel bedside tables? As teachers is it not our moral responsibility to acknowledge the unique potential and mission of each individual, help them realise it and guide them on the path to manifesting that inner potential, which in Buddhist terms, is nothing but Buddhahood? Should education address the needs of the learner and help him/her connect his inner strengths to the dynamics of the world outside, or the needs of an economically or industrially driven society which needs humanoids to fill in jobs? Having been born in a family of so called intellectuals, and always being reminded (throughout my upbringing) of my ordinariness in 'that department', it was reassuring to find others who believed in an intelligence that went far beyond knowledge and information and celebrated true wisdom.

TEACHING IS A NOBLE PROFESSION

The facilitators also raised the whole perception of "Teaching as a noble profession" and as educators of a progressive education system and an internationally minded school, it was heartening to see the debate. Is the phrase 'noble profession' an oxymoron? What makes a profession noble? We explored in groups, what we felt personally and professionally about this oft used, cliched statement, and each group shared some amazing insights. 'Noble' brings into mind selflessness, giving and sacrificing. Yes, we do all of that as teachers and our best rewards are the joys of seeing our students grow from strength to strength. In the ancient times, when the select few were educated and had the power to educate others, a distinction from other occupations could have been used to demarcate teachers as higher beings. But what adds hypocritical complicacy to the statement is when the word 'noble' is added to 'profession'. A profession implies something specialised and something which also brings in income. And that is where the hypocrisy begins. Do teachers not deserve to earn? How is it different from other professions then? Yes, we shape the future citizens of the world and yes, we not only invest our time and knowledge, but also our emotions. But if these things can be easily accepted by all as a teacher's duty, then why do employees of MNCs earn much more than teachers? Why does the ability to build bridges or create computer programmes garner a higher monetary value than creating good human beings and caring global citizens? Is it wrong to be paid well and appropriately for shaping the future society and future leaders, but absolutely acceptable for others to earn millions of dollars for ensuring profits in a company that is doing nothing remarkably different than what East India Company planned and did in India? Then why do countries and societies demean the value of our contribution in economic terms? On the other hand, if we, as teachers, get paid decently, as we are in international schools, is it something to feel guilty about? Is society the way it is because for generations, the financial rewards of a teacher by its employer has been meagre to say the least and that not all teachers would deliver their best merely on the nobility factor? Is the profession that a prostitute chooses any less noble? Questions that shook the basic foundation of my own value system and put me at peace with the fact that the nobility of a profession is not by its nature, but more determined by the nature of the individual engaged in it. The examples of shocking and most often not noble behaviour by teachers is widely publicised in the media these days with a scary incident being reported every other week... but does it really bother us as much as it would if the stock market crashed or the Sensex dipped many points or the price of gold increased by a few more thousands? 

BECOMING A TEACHER, EDUCATOR AND A MENTOR

The final aspect of the workshop was to help us realise our humanistic mission as teachers. We explored our understanding of the role of a teacher viz a viz an educator and a mentor. In today's world of helicopter parenting, as so beautifully coined and explained by Rachna in her blog on children losing their innocence these days, is it enough being an authoritative fountain head of knowledge? Or do children need more compassionate teachers to help them educate themselves? Or is the role of a teacher much larger to a disarrayed generation that is lost in its life tracks and thus, be the mentor to guide them to finding their own truths? In the PYP, we are all of these rolled into one. Not only do we need to be receptive to the backgrounds and experiences that students bring in to the class room, but also be aware that each child is uniquely intelligent and each child has a unique way of learning. We need to compensate for the role models which may be missing in their lives... lives wrought with broken homes, domestic abuse, ignorant parents, absent parents and the dependence for entertainment and comfort merely on inanimate objects and the digital media! We have to be the parent, the friend, the guide, the sibling and the guru. We need to be role models to these children, as they perceive and imbibe all that they witness around them. At the same time, we need to make them independent learners, who will be able to fit into an ever changing world, wherever they are! The challenges and the responsibilities are immense but the rewards at the end of the day are much larger than a fat bonus cheque. The rewards are rewards of the heart!

Buddhaland

What is the Buddhaland? We hear this often in our Buddhist practice and I have been conscious of it, in concept, from a young age, having been introduced to Louise Hay and her affirmations in my early 20s! In Buddhist terms, it is the land where a Buddha dwells after having vowed to save living beings, completed his own practice, and attained enlightenment. In more practical terms, in the modern times, it is the land where we live and work, creating peace and harmony in our environment through good thoughts, words and deeds. What has however been more puzzling to me is where to find it? In Buddhism, it is simple... the land exists in our hearts and in the physical space where we live and work. Thus, it is rather not about finding Buddhaland but about creating it. 

What is Buddhaland?

After a 3 city holiday, here is an introspection on the 3 cities and in the place where we live... a comparative analysis into what are the factors that go into making a Buddhaland.

Gurgaon

A city in Haryana, in which vast tracts of arable land are being swallowed up by urbanisation, the corruption it entails, and the population and related crises it invites. It is called the Millenium City and yet is far from it! A mall city of self centred consumerists and infamously of rapists and murderers! A city where crime doesn't need an excuse, but just happens. Be it an instance of road rage that leads to death, violent anger that leads to the murder of innocent people, or even kidnapping and gang rapes in open daylight from the so called respectable malls! It is also the city of suicides, indicative of the emtpiness in people's hearts. What is most contradictory, is its history. Gurgaon, rather Guru ka Gaon was the forested area where Guru Dronacharya had his school and where the Pandavas had their training. Rich in its natural resources, thickly forested with a large variety of birds and animals, it was a land celebrating the sanctity of the mentor disciple relationship... a stark contrast to what it is today! The forests have been chopped off, the animals have taken refuge in the legally protected Aravali forests (inside which is our campus residence) and the values that are deep rooted in the Haryanvi culture, long lost. Respect for land today has a different connotation...not for its agricultural yield but for the pots full of money it can bring in today if sold to a greedy promoter! Electricity and water are scarce commodities, and public utilities like roads, street lighting and safety do not reflect the high taxes paid by the common man here. So what is amiss? It is the basic sanctity of life... the inner respect that village elders still have in their genes but the common younger public lack. Respect for the environment, public place and above life and people. And respect is that quality what could turn Gurgaon into Guru ka Gaon... alias the Buddhaland!

Mumbai

A sea of people

The economic heart throb of our country is a strange mix of contradictions. Busy streets, busy people, all hustling and bustling to work... be it the common man who is struggling to make ends meet by juggling more than one job a day, or the rich who are striving to mint more money for themselves in a city, where prices go up irrespective of the inflation! And in this survival driven, purposeful humdrum, every individual is engrossed in themselves, their lives, their worries and their pain, so much so that they do not care about what is happening around them. At the same time, the people are all wired together, subliminally, because of their shared struggle. The rich can be seen enjoying their Pav Bhaji at Juhu Chowpatty as comfortably as the not so rich! The public transport too is used by one and all, depending on the need. 

A burst of life force

Everything is shared, including a seat on a train during rush hour. It is like all the citizens in the depths of their hearts care about the other, in spite of any difference there might exist, be it in religion, caste or social and economic status. Everybody is accepted the way they are, be it the youngsters in their funky attire, or the senior citizens walking in sarees and sports shoes in the innumerous well maintained public gardens. Somewhere deep down there is a knowing of everybody being the same and hence, a subliminal respect that breathes in the city life. When needed the same people on the streets who wouldn't look at you twice, will come in hordes to help you if you need so. This quality of balance is what keeps the city ticking with an never before experienced zest for life... striving for better and working with determination towards it.   

Making Buddhaland?

Buddhaland is not a dream, but must be actualised, and one can sense the Bodhisattvas working very hard in the city of Mumbai!

Pune

Pune is the cultural capital of Maharashtra and often called the Oxford of the East! Filled with a burgeoning student population due to its well organised and well proven educational systems, it is filled with a rich vibrancy of character. 

The Orchid School

Though the hometown to the native Marathis, who have long escaped the more cosmopolitan capital of Mumbai for their own reclusive and cocooned life style at Pune, yet, it has a strangely youthful nature that adds a freshness to the city and its appeal. Long stretches of military presence, adds a sense of security and visual treat to the big city traveller. The weahter too is gentle and the environment green and well preserved. A laid-back attitude to life is what characterises a typical Puneite. 

Outside Natural

Roadside Kacchi Dabeli

At the same time the natives clutch on to their culture, through their shopping on Lakshmi Road, their local cuisine spilling into street food carts, their original Ice Cream Parlour chain made from fresh fruits, Marathi theatre throbbing alive in the city scape and the myriad educational institutions that gives it a cultural finesse! The youth too add immense character balancing this rich canvas of people, with their born to be free attitude with most students stepping out of their hometowns into independent college living for the first time at Pune and a desire to achieve more in their coming years. A land that is laden with peace... don't bother, don't get bothered aura... naturally complemented by the greenery and the cool weather. One can see in the Pune of today, urbanisation and consumerism raising its ugly head, but the overall ethos of the city is still strong enough to balance the character of a peace loving city and community. This strong desire for peace and a youthfulness to achieve it is another typical quality that makes a Buddhaland!

Goa

Highway to heaven!

Coconut and jackfruit in every house!

Green and gorgeous... a city gifted by nature... with its rich foliage of coconut and cashew-nut among other flora! Its pristine beaches with its clean sand and wide horizons, metaphorically seem to open the minds of its people. 

Hearts that are expansive are typified by the locals, who would gladly invite you to a Konkani meal! A zeal to enjoy life and nature is not only a character of the large number of tourists who throng Goa through the year, but also an integral element of a native Goan. The influence of the erstwhile Portuguese adds a westernized element to the life style, be it in attire, food or entertainment. At the same time, the sun, sand and surf, seem to create an ethereal feeling of bliss, of living in paradise! 

Pristine beaches of Goa

An inner respect for one another and complete acceptance of each individual as unique, is what makes the tattoo parlour coexist in complete harmony right next to a handicrafts shop, not just physically but also in ethos. A perfect blend of western and eastern ideologies, a love for life and people in its myriad diversities and its unique entirety, a natural respect for splendid nature as manifested in the city as well as its endless beaches, gives being in Goa, an out of the world feel. Could this be Buddhaland? Maybe!

In the end, no place is perfect. I have lived for a year at Mumbai, three in Pune and eight in Gurgaon. Every city has its own character and atmosphere, but some cities do naturally lend itself to the establishment of Buddhaland. 

Buddha sun

In the end, it is each individual’s contribution and hence, responsibility to turn any environment into an abode of the Buddha. We have been chanting for the same to be established at our campus from Day 1 and that is our contribution from this corner of the jungle. Here is praying for each of us to be able to be pivotal in transforming their home, work place, building society, neighbourhood and city into a land of pure tranquil light!

Buddhaland is just a blind away...

Ten things I learnt from my mother... a tribute on her 75th birthday!

My mother turns a glorious 75 today and this is a tribute to her spirit. We never get to choose our parents, but we do choose to understand, accept, admire, and respect them. In the last 35 years, I have gone through a journey of doing all of that with my mother! Here is a list of ten things I have learnt from her and will always carry with me all my life:


Open your heart

My mother is emotional to the core and her heart is a softy! Her heart has always been open to learning new things, questioning her own beliefs and embracing new ideas, and above all to helping and caring for people. All through my childhood, I have seen endless visitors drop by and never was anybody grudged and neither did anybody leave without food in their stomach! This open-hearted nature brought her many friends, some opportunist and some genuine, and yet her bitter sweet experiences never biased her.

Strengthen your mind

My mother, being the first girl in the family to study for a Master's Degree, always cherished the opportunity. She sincerely worked day and night to nurture her intellect and thereby topped her course by becoming a Gold Medalist at Jadavpur University, Kolkata! This saga continued once she met my father, an intellectual, historian and author, with whom she continued this journey of learning. I learnt that there is no end to learning and no age for learning either, pretty early in life.

Work diligently

My memories of my childhood are filled with my mother being busy... forever busy! At 75, nothing much has changed... she still continues to be forever busy! An amazing worker, who once determined, would see her objectives to fruition with a zeal so rare these days. Hard working, be it through her days at Loreto College, checking papers of students from other universities, starting a creche at home or manufacturing jams and squashes, whatever she does, she puts in her 100%. This diligence has not only paid her off well, but has kept her young and healthy!

Enjoy uninhibitedly

My mother loves to cook, drink, dance, watch movies and plays and travel to new places. In whatever she dipped her fingers, even work transformed to enjoyment. With this spirit, I grew up with lots of social evenings at home, be it my father's literary friends, or my special birthday celebrations, these are memories etched in my mind and heart. She taught me, that amid the hardest of circumstances, it is important to enjoy life, uninhibitedly. I still remember her taking me out for a tour of our neighbourhood one rainy afternoon through waterlogged streets, just to feel the exhilaration of a Kolkata monsoon! I also remember how special she made my birthdays by serving me special lunch on silverware and baking my delicious birthday cakes at home! She taught me the mantra of work hard, party hard, even before it became a catch phrase!

Respect women 
My mother was fortunate in her times to grow up and encounter strong women. Be it my mother's mother or my father's mother, two exceptionally strong and independent women of their times, or her boss at college, she admired and revelled in her womanhood. She always taught me the importance of respecting and caring for women... a quality which I imbibed over the years of maturing into an adult. She played a pivotal role not only in my upbringing, but also in our family, its handling and management, thereby, exemplifying the power of a woman in a family. 

Be forever youthful
In her youth, my mother was known for her beauty and the length of her hair! She was aptly called Kapalkundala by her friends and inspired many love poems by my father. Now, though the length of her hair may have drastically shortened, it is impossible to guess her age, not only because of all the wonders Oriflame has worked on her face and skin, but also seeing her energy levels and her zest for life! At 75, she is still youthful at heart, which keeps her younger and glowing. Her active and hands on approach to life, helps her continue to strive and add value to other people's lives, not regarding her weak knees! I hope that at her age, I will be half as fit and active!

Meet challenges head on
My mother is fearless! She has always braved whatever challenge life has thrown at her, never giving in to self pity or remorse. Be it work related, financial or dealing with family crises, she wasted no time in getting down to problem solving and fire fighting. There was not even a second when I remember her getting daunted or overwhelmed. A fighter at heart, she would be soon ready with an action plan and get on with fighting the bull by its horns. Not surprisingly, most of the times she would emerge victorious! A spirit to deal with life's good and bad and not escape the situation, is something I learnt by observing her deal with the vagaries of life! 


Never give up
Her fearless character was further blessed with her perseverant nature. This not only helped her tackle difficult situations, but her undying positive approach, sometimes even foolish, made her stronger than others, as she refused to let any situation get the better of her. In modern times, we see so many of us give in to so much stress in our lives and yet I saw my mother cope with all the pressures of her life with a belief that it would be resolved and that she had the power to do so! This self empowering nature is something I have always tried to imbibe, as it was an inherent quality in her which further got nurtured through her practice of Buddhism.


Count your blessings
Like everybody else, my mother too has seen a lot of good times and a lot of bad times! But through it all she taught me one thing... always to count our blessings. She had learnt it from her mother to always look at people around us, when we felt that we were in the worst possible situation. A never-say-die positive spirit actually held her in good stead through many trials, which women from her generation or of her age would not been have been able to brave and emerge victorious! A sense of humility and a sense of gratitude was ever present in my upbringing and I hope I am able to inculcate the same in my daughter.

Have faith
Everything above boils down to a five letter word 'faith'! My mother has always been guided by her strong instincts, supported by her hard working spirit and never defeated by her attitude to life. At the core of her personality is faith... in the goodness of life and people, in fairness and justice, in the powers of the Universe and above all in the strength latent in all of us. I have seen her apply all these ideas into practice, during major hardships and rising above them. I always admired this in her and was happy to see this manifest itself in a more channelised way when she embraced Buddhism more than a decade back. Her faith has brought our family together and I am sure, will bring in many more blessings into all our lives.

As I sat down to reflect, a longer list of things is already churning in my mind. I have not elaborated on evidences to support my thoughts, as many of them are painful and personal. But, through it all, I have realised the gift that only mothers can share with their children. Here is wishing you many more glorious such years ahead on your 75th birthday!


P.S. This post is in green, my mom's favourite colour! :D

REPAYING DEBT OF GRATITUDE

Every experience in life, be it good or bad, adds value to who we are. It shapes our future course, sometimes positively and sometimes negatively. We become a different person through every experience in life, bit by bit. Often people feel helpless in the hands of 'destiny' almost like a blob of wet clay being shaped by the God-potter. In Buddhism, it is believed that our thoughts, words and actions actually shape our destiny. Thus, the responsibility is placed squat on your face for all you experience and all you go through, good or bad. At the same time, the power to be the potter at the wheel, is also yours... each individual's irrespective of caste, creed, financial security or gender. A simplistic concept and yet very difficult to practise.

As each experience in life contributes to who we are and who we become, whether it is the working of a somewhat vicarious God sitting up there somewhere, or through mere consequences of our thoughts, words and actions, repaying debts of gratitude is a crucial element in Buddhist practice. A humility that is rooted in Japanese culture stems from this Buddhist thought, that by making efforts to repay one's debts of gratitude, we move forward in our evolution into better human beings. A constant reminder of how insignificant we are in the face of the overpowering Universe and its laws. There are many ways in which we pay gratitude, without realising that we are doing the same. These acts are an integral part of social interaction in India and often are done superficially or mechanically as a mere body routine. If one can add the thought to it, then the gesture is that much more valuable.

1. Namaste

The most common greeting in India, with hands joined together, head slightly bent, it is an acknowledgment of the other individual with equal if not more respect. The hands are placed close to the heart chakra, where divinity is believed to reside. It is a salutation used commonly by Hindus and Buddhists and in recent times, has become popular even in Western cultures. It is an act of respect or adulation and thus, in a moment, repaying debt of gratitude for having encountered the other noble soul.

2. Touching feet

This is a humbler version of Namaste, in which we show respect by touching the feet of elders. It requires the body to be bent and the head bowed in a gesture of complete reverence and thus, expressing gratitude. Sometimes, this also is a way to seek blessings from those who have experienced more in life, especially during auspicious occasions.

3. Prayer

In life, we all experience ups and downs. When the going is smooth, we oft forget the omnipresence of 'God' in our lives (for the atheists, God can be interpreted as Good Orderly Direction). When the going gets tough, we remember this super power, and how we need to express gratitude to It and at the same time seek Its intervention in setting things right in our lives. All religions have a regular routine of prayer, the degree of which varies from one to the other. In Hinduism, though daily prayer is a requirement, one can often skip it if one attends the Pujas which happen in regular intervals throughout the year. Be it a visit to a temple or a puja, God is kind and will bless those who express their gratitude for all that they have. In Christianity acknowledging one's sins and confessing about it adds a different dimension to our conversations with God and manifests an interesting angle to the manifestation of God's benevolence.

Whatever faith you may consider, prayer is the highest form of expressing and repaying one's debt of gratitude. Our direct channel is God and sometimes, we may not even meet the individuals for a long time, but through this server, in a way, we are expressing our gratitude to all the experiences we have with different people throughout our lives. However, keeping all this in mind, I believe how we pray (to rocks, trees, money, God, idols, whoever) is each individual's prerogative and how it manifests in each individual's life is a mix of more than 3000 factors! But more of that later.

4. Unconditional love

I believe, that an act of love is far more superior than prayer. An act of unconditional love, that is free of expectations, greed, opportunity or benefits, is the highest form of expressing gratitude. Much like the 'I see you' ritual in the tribe of Navis (Avatar)! When we truly are in that paused frame of giving and receiving this pure emotion of love, we are truly acknowledging the presence of the other individual, in his/her entirety, body, mind and soul. A loving embrace, a caring touch, all convey subliminally the depth of emotions we feel, as if to say "Thank You for being here". It always leaves us satiated, no matter how difficult our circumstances may be at that point of time. It carries no expectations, but to be reciprocated... and yet it can be expressed by one and all, and is learnt instinctively.

Yet, in the humdrum of our seemingly busy lives, racing towards so called progress that is only depleting our natural resources, we tend to forget the power of the human touch and how easy it is to express our debt of gratitude.

It is crucial we lead a life, in which we express our gratitude. From the routine to the emotional, each act carries significance. Once we are aware of the power of expressing gratitude, we will surely emerge a better human being day by day. Use your body to speak your mind, in a respectful way and see the change it brings!

Many in body, one in mind

We all live and work in a fiercely competitive world that is driven at the core by economics. International schools, these days, too are run on a corporate model, following core corporate values. In many ways it contradicts the basic purpose of education: service vs profits, quality vs quantity, community vs individual, students vs parent clients and so on. Amidst such pressures, it is not easy to lead a team in a truly collaborative spirit like the PYP requires. This post is dedicated to one such leader, thus, celebrating the Buddhist value of compassion and exemplifying the principle of Many in Body, One in Mind.


We are all different... many in body
A true leader needs to recognise the beauty of unique and different personalities, look for their strengths and tap into them. Leadership should not be about standardising the work force through strict rules and norms, but letting each individual blossom to their true potential. When one works in a diverse team, be it multicultural or multi-ethnic, this understanding is crucial in building and developing the team. As each of us have a different mission in life, it is important to first recognise, acknowledge and appreciate that. Then the rest can follow.


We are all the same... one in mind
A team always works towards a common goal. As common mortals, we too all strive towards the common goal of happiness, peace and security. Unless, each individual in a team, community or society at large realise the commonality of our mission and hence, our lives, harmony can never be attained. Our government with its cabinet full of selfish ministers looking after their own interests, is a perfect example of this principle not applied. A leader is expected to make each of its team mates realise this vision of a common goal, however big or small their contribution in achieving it. Empathy is a useful quality in helping bridge the gaps and making each individual feel important and wanted. A team with this high value of self worth often delivers the best of their abilities, as they share the vision of the leader/mentor/teacher. This unites them in mind, thought and thus, action... making it a simplistic but a very practical approach.


Many in body, (yet) one in mind
The real challenge of a leader is however, to acknowledge the above two concepts and marry them together. Most leaders would have the ability to use one or the other of these two ideas in their management. But what sets apart good leaders from the rest is this understanding that though a team needs to be focused on a common goal, it cannot be achieved at the cost of sacrificing individual personalities, talents and abilities. This is where Rima's compassion and practicality found a perfect match in the way she dealt with all of us! Rima has the innate ability to sense and see through each individual's inner landscape, respecting it deeply on one hand, and utilising their strengths not only to help the individual, but also, to help the team grow. Any organisation with such balanced leaders will do well, with high levels of employee satisfaction, as colleagues are not pressurised to deliver through fear psychosis, strong rules, harsh behaviour or bullying. Such leaders can osmotically bring out the best in every one, stir in the soup the larger picture and serve high quality performance, hot and tasty!

L to R: Malini, Monica, Rima and I

If we want to see change in organisations, communities and society at large, it is imperative that we all celebrate our uniqueness and yet guide people towards a common vision of good. This definition of good can change over time, but the spirit of many in body and one in mind, will remain the key to human management success!




This post, like my other ones, tries to exemplify a Buddhist concept or principle. More can be read on this concept here. This post is also dedicated to an exceptional person, Rima Singh, who has not only been a great friend, but also a great mentor, and the most humane boss I could ever dream of! The opinions expressed in the blog are mine only and in no way should be associated with any organisation or community. 

Bird Parenting

We as humans have a lot to learn from birds. The power of flight, the larger picture perspective, the physicality and maybe 'emotionality' of surviving harsh circumstances and the fact that men have to impress the women! Above all, what impresses me most is the way birds parent. We all know that the selection of a perfect mate is a big deal with animals and so with birds. The male always has to impress the female, among other contenders, be it through their physical appearance, strength, agility or some special skill! Finally, the female selects the father to be and the wait begins for the eggs to be laid. Meanwhile the couple hunt for a nesting ground, a safe place to lay their eggs and let them hatch, away from predators of the new born hatchlings!

Through this process, one notices certain values in birds which make them good, strong parents. It would be worthwhile to reflect if these values were to be applied to human parenting what difference it would make.

The home is where the eggs are

A bird's nest is a simple engineering marvel! Unlike modern day couples, who want a Jacuzzi in their exorbitant flats, a bird looks for safety of the nest. A firm ground, a cool setting and a safe and secure home is what a bird's nest is all about. It is going to be the abode of a family to be and that is all that matters! Humans, on the other hand, spend hours working to earn enough to build a home comfortable enough. And when the time comes for the light of children to glow, the parents hardly have the time to glow in that love... the home remains dark and soulless!

Roles are shared and fair

Birds often surprise us in the way they break human stereotypes. Male and female birds share equal roles and play both parts of being a protector and the food finder. They take turns at housekeeping, guarding their eggs, and at fending for food for the hatchlings. A fair and equal relationship between male and female. This is changing in human relationships as women have become more demanding of their husbands and many men opting to be the home maker... but the stereotypes none the less continue to exist!

Patience and perseverance

Till the eggs are hatched, a mother often spends hours going through the pains of warming her eggs. This could be compared to the 9 months that a human mother too carries her embryo... in fact much longer than birds have to do this job. 

Tend to the babies

A hatchling is often tended to by the parents with loving care. Food being fed in the mouth and parents taking turns to guard their home while the other goes shopping... are all a part of the baby bird's early days. Often there are more than one sibling to share the food with and each are at their greediest best. Sounds human! What changes is when a baby bird learns to fly!

Fend for yourself

Soon, the parents teach their birds to fly, the basic skill of survival. A hard lesson to be learnt as many young birds die in this attempt. But most fighters learn to fly in days, much quicker than a human child would take to learn to walk or swim! Soon, they are ready to fly and the unsentimental parents let them fly... away! A tough call... but often a significant one in deciding the future of the bird... and its survival. 

Human love in contrast is enabling, cocooning the child from the challenges of the real world and when the testing time comes and the now no longer children are unable to cope with the pressures of competition, work pressure, relationships and their demands, parents not only turn back on them demanding more and more, but often driving them away and oft to suicide. 

A simple formula for parenting, which was so naturally demonstrated in front of my eyes recently by a pigeon couple that built its nest in my balcony, opened my eyes! Only if I could fly!

Marriage and Friendship

A friend of mine recently posted on FB, asking whether Friendship was a subset of Marriage or vice versa! An interesting thought that set me on self reflection. In my case the sequence and set arrangement is simple... friendship came first, marriage in between and friendship continues... to be the super set! But why then do we see all around us failed marriages and failed friendships? What is the formula for a successful relationship? My guide in this regard was actually things taught by my parents and very aptly role modelled by them, and in some cases demonstrated by their non compliance of the values. Some of them which I was able to sort, assimilate and imbibe were:


Friendship first
It is important to be a friend to any human being... caring, compassionate and empathetic. Brought up in a home   that was always open to friends and visitors, emphasised to me early on the importance to be there for others. Most friendships are built on a healthy balance of give and take, but what I learnt from the way my parents lived was this: Give without expecting anything in return. Be it the unmeasured rice being cooked for lunch, or meetings with friends at odd hours, even leaving a meal to attend to phone calls... all acts of Buddhist compassion.


Marriage is an agreement
Marriage can be either through love or by arrangement. In my parents' case and mine and all my siblings, it stemmed from a relationship of love. However, witnessing the relationship in my parents unfold taught me things to be done as well as things not to be done. My mother, a victim of marital ignorance, taught me one thing that in a way connects to the above. Be good to your woman and give her all the attention and care she deserves. Marriage is an agreement to live by social norms, to live together in spite of differences, to agree to disagree, to fight and make up, to make adjustments and compromises and when children come into the picture, make sacrifices. And yet, in spite of all its low points, people commit to marriages, almost as mundanely, as buying a cold drink to quench one's thirst on a hot, summer afternoon! Unless, marriage is firmly founded on friendship, the journey that needs selflessness at its core, can often get rough and sometimes dirty. Unconditional love is idealistic and one feels it only for one's own child... but one must strive to give and give in marriage without expecting much in return, to make it successful. Much like one would do in friendship

Do good to others and God will do good to you
An intuitive trust in a super power has always guided my pseudo religious mother and atheist father. Taking religion out of the picture, and replacing it with the beliefs, ideals and thoughts of Tagore would probably be more befitting. I learnt to have faith from my mother, and to question from my father. Together, these qualities, are like a double edged sword... a useful weapon on my inner journey to find Buddhahood. 


Summing it all up, a life without compassion, is a life fraught with the devilish emotions of greed, insecurity, possessiveness, jealousy and hate, which can not only wreck a married relationship, but also do the same to a good friendship! 

An inner journey begins

The Buddha was born and brought up in abundance, wealth and knowledge. Yet, there was a seeking spirit that was overwhelming in spite of his seemingly comfortable circumstances. Maybe we all go through moments, when, like the Buddha, our heart and soul seeks the truth... the truth about our life, relationships and its good and bad circumstances. But not all of us have the courage to surrender all the concrete and oft superficial things in our lives, which we cling on to for succour of an inferior kind, and walk out into the world to seek the truth!

My previous blog of over 7 years was wiped away by MSN, and I felt much like having lost all the wealth of my thoughts and emotions to ordinary experiences! This is my first step out of the home comfort of the mind into the unknown heart and soul... much akin to that fateful night in Shakyamuni's life. Amid the challenges of work, and sharing time with family and friends, I hope I will be able to travel my inner landscape... conversing with the Buddha within... to discover my mission and find my blue print! There may be meditative silences, brief moments of pain, or extensive dialogues on the realities of life. Walk with me if you want, or simply listen to my thoughts!